At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
