I heard we made out
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
