I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
