sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
