the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
