when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
