Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
