i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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