Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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