I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
