I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
