Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
