on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
