Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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