From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
