I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
