I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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