I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
