Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
