If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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