That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
