you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
