Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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