i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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