no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
