You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
