he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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