I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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