you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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