Apparently you make a good broom.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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