I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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