We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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