Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
