i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
