It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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