Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
