the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We left the knife in your bed.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
