if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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