i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
