I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
