Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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