I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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