don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
