come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
