There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
