I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
