i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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