So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
