Little spoons don't ask big questions
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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