Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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