Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You are the jesus of drinking
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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