The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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